Thursday, March 19, 2009

This Blog has been moved

Dear Friends,

I have fallen in love, again! This time with Wordpress and the options it gives me for my blog. I moved the ego-RHYTHM blog to:

Please follow me there and update your preferences.

Best wishes,

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Dear Friend of ego-RHYTHM,

To get what you want you need to know what"it" is. Begin today and start to define and write down what it is that you want. As a FREE gift to you I have asked the fabulous illustrator/designer Elaine Biss to design a want-it-all list and I am making it available on my website for you. Please visit Click the red button on the right that says 'Free Gift' and download your own copy. Keep it in your purse, pin it on your vision board or hide it in a secret drawer for your eyes only! Get one step closer to designing the life you want to live.


Sunday, February 15, 2009

Setting Priorities

Do you have any suggestions for how to make choices for where to put my time and energy when I have lots (and LOTS) of things labeled as priority 1?

This is an email I received from a woman who wants it all and an excellent question. Just how do you figure out where to set priorities when everything seems to be equally important?

You need to break down your to do tasks in sizeable chunks if you want to stay ahead of them and not run yourself in the ground in the process. There are two ways to go about it.

The first one is your daily list. In the morning sit down and pick five things that you absolutely must get done and put them on your priority list for today. Do these five things first before you do anything else and check them off as you complete them. Once you accomplished your five must-do’s you can ease up your pace for the rest of the day. What you accomplish on top of these five things is your gravy. This sounds easy but remember there are always interruptions, emails and something unexpected that needs your attention. Be diligent about your time and keep interruptions to a minimum until you are done with your five items. I don’t check email if I am on one my tasks and I don’t answer the phone either. Good time management is essential for you. Be selfish whom you give your time to and how you spend it.

This technique works equally well for your personal life. You do this by simply including your personal must do’s on your list. Things like picking up your kid, a doctor visit or doing groceries should be added to your priority list for each day if they are a must-do item for the day. Be realistic about how much you can do and don’t worry if you don’t get it right the first time. Time management takes practice. As a tip: don’t add more than three errands to your list for a single day otherwise it can get to be too much running around.

The second way is to follow the concept of ego-RHTYHM that teaches you how to figure out what your main focus in life is and it's duration. In the defining years, usually from 25-45 years old, it makes things much easier if you know what your life main focus is and to do that one thing best. You let the rest of your life happen. For example if you are a new mom, focus on being primarily a mom and not on your career or other things you have not accomplished yet. In my book “Women Who Want It All and Get It, Too” I outline specifically how you can figure out where you are and which rhythm you are in currently. This way you will no longer look at your future as this big mountain to climb but a journey that is broken down in bite size increments which makes everything a lot more manageable.

A healthy balance is possible when you know what the most important aspect of your current rhythm (where you are today) is and you focus on that and stop worrying about everything else. This takes a little practice and discipline. Your life will shift again and something else will take priority. Then you focus on that and than the next one until you have enough experience under your belt and gotten enough of “all” to have learned that many things can co-exist at the same time. It can and will happen but it takes practice and time to get to the point where you have mastered each subject satisfactory and graduate to having it all at once.

In the meantime work with your daily priorities as best as you can. Remember to use KARL. You are doing great!

Let me know how it goes.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Octuplets: Revisited

In a way I feel as if I put my foot in my mouth when I posted my other blog perhaps a little too early. As the facts came in the story changed quite a bit, didn’t it?

While I still believe that the point I was making in my previous blog is still the right one, my example was not so well chosen.

Recap: My point was that we as a society believe bad news sell so we find bad news in everything - even in good news. The example I had picked was the (assumed) couple that went through infertility treatments and ended up with eight babies. I further assumed that the media manipulated a miracle into something negative and the message shifted from wow to what the heck was she thinking?

What can I, as a single mom to one daughter say to a single mother of six (who are all conceived via treatment) who undergoes more fertility treatments? Have you lost your mind, don’t you know how hard it is? Should I be happy for her that she gets what she wants or feel bad as I think this is a path with major consequences for her?

Here is to a single mom of 14! I try to envision how you can enlist your two-year old twins to help you with anything or your seven year old to put the babies to bed? How can you hold a job with 14 kids? What car has space for 14? The costs of diapers, food must be astronomical. Can you even take care of that many kids by yourself? The mom lives with her parents who are taking care of the kids while she is in the hospital. Is it fair to make your parents, who already have financial problems, a part of this?

No matter how I look at it I end up with one word - irresponsible. Then I thought, wait, this is about women who want it all. Isn't this an example of someone who wanted this and got it? Is that not a great thing for her?

Bottom-line: We can't go into a discussion on whether or not single women should be able to get fertility treatments or not. We can't get into discussions on whether or not it is good to selectively terminate some of the fetuses based on Darwin's survival of the fittest. As a free country we have to accept the decisions others make even when they appear to us as irresponsible.

What does it mean for you and your desire to get what you want?

You can only begin with yourself. Remind yourself to put only on your list what you can handle in real life. Challenge yourself but within realistic realms. Be as specific as possible. Perhaps instead of saying I want kids, say I want one or two! While I do recommend dreaming big (it is the same amount of effort) make sure you will be in the driver seat when your wants turn into your reality.

Have a fabulous week.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Good News and Bad News

A few days ago a woman in Los Angeles gave birth to eight babies. They were born nine weeks early but everything went without a hitch. The pictures on TV and in the newspaper feature an ecstatic team of doctors, beaming of joy that the birth went so well. The team had expected seven but oops, an eight one snuck in. What a great chuckle for the reader. I guess eight is as good as seven, maybe even better. Overall this is great message of joy and a miracle. The babies are doing well, almost all breathe on their own. The mom is happy and beginning to breastfeed. On top of it this is a positive story about an HMO, something we all would like to hear for once.

Then today the message shifts. On CNN and other media outlets we suddenly read reports of why a pregnancy with that many babies is unnecessarily dangerous. How one fertility doctor believes that the couple chooses simple fertility injections (as they are cheaper) versus an in vitro (which is more expensive). It sounds as he implies that the couple made some bad decisions. Some other doctor thinks there should have been a reduction of fetuses to reduce the risk for the mother and the stronger babies. Yet another story said that problems of premature babies would not surface until later. When you are done reading a great feel good moment turns into thoughts of doubt and judgment.

My blood began to boil. What in the world is wrong with this picture?

The world is in the midst of trying times and a lot of what goes on around you is very tough stuff. It is hard to feel good when there is so much despair around you. Most of my readers are familiar with spiritual concepts and most likely you avoid as much as you can the overload of negativity around you.

Having eight seemingly healthy babies is fabulous. It is impossible to not be in awe of this family who clearly wanted to conceive and accepted all that came with it. And they made it! This should be celebrated just as we celebrated the miracle of the Hudson. It is not true that only bad news sell. Remember when "Sully" landed his plane in the Hudson just a few weeks ago. We absorbed the good news and rehashed them over and over again. Why? We need stories of hope so we can hold onto our faith and believes that we will get through this time of turmoil and that everything will turn out OK. It is imperative that we find things that go right and know a person by name that has done something good.

For the woman and the man who wants it all this is a call to action. We can and will stay positive and focused on the good stuff. How can you contribute? When you hear a story that makes you feel good or gives you hope - tell your friends. Twitter links to articles that give you that warm fussy feeling or post them on your Facebook account. Call your friends. Resist the temptation to start your conversation with how many people have lost their jobs and homes and instead be a messenger of good news. Little by little we can shift our consciousness beginning with our immediate surroundings. And that sounds already pretty good to me.

I send you my very best wishes and hope this finds you exceptionally well.

I invite you to post your good news on this blog, my Facebook or tweet me.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Help! I am struggling.

Help! I am struggling. This was a Facebook entry I received today from a fabulous, smart self employed woman in Florida. She asked about ideas, tips or techniques that could be recommended. Anything, ANYTHING that I can share that might help her to get over the current bump. A series of tough blows brought her to her knees.

When faced with adversity especially in tough economic times (and I remind you that Mercury is going retrograde until February 2nd) we ask - why me, why now, when is it going to be over? Our external circumstances are discouraging. The economy, depression vs recession, plummeting portfolios, savings and declining home values leave us feeling down and heavy. On top of it, the planets are going nuts as communication for the next few weeks will be triple as difficult. Mercury rules all personal and electronic communication.

For the Woman Who Wants It All it can be very discouraging when you do all the right things and "stuff" keeps on getting in the way. So what is the right action, thought, or method to use when you feel life is giving you too much to handle and you cannot take it anymore?

Remember you have a trusted "man" on your side. KARL (know, accept, relax, live. Apply the actions of KARL whenever you hit a snag.

  • Know that you are eye-to-eye with a pretty big bump on your road. You must get through this and you will - somehow. Challenges are a part of life, you've gone through stuff before.
  • Accept that today is a tough day and that you are struggling with your situation. Don't fight it, allow and accept it. Set yourself a time limit and throw a great pity-party for yourself.
  • Relax - you might as well. When you time limit is up, remind yourself that you will conquer this one, too. Take a breath and focus on positive thinking. "I Will Get Better."
  • Live a little. Give yourself a reward for being brave and courageous. Do a favorite activity such as rent a funny movie, go for a walk, grab a coffee, paint, read, have a drink or cook for a friend.
And even when all of this goes on we are able to witness a miracle. The miracle on the Hudson when a plane lands on an icy river and within five minutes everyone is rescued.

Remind yourself, even when the going gets really tough - there is always a light that shines brightly that gives us hope. You will be better - soon.

Stay the course.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

And a Happy New Year

Dear Reader,

First of all, let me wish you a wonderful and successful 2009. We continue to see change all around - hence do expect that your life will probably see elements of change, too. Change is great once we have completed it but a tough nut to swallow while you are in the middle of it. Regardless of how worried you might be and how negative things appear around you, stay firm in your believe that at the end of this you will be OK.

Even for the most positive person, it is hard to ignore the drama around us. A shooting over Christmas, a Ponzi scheme from an investment firm that serviced many charities and now someone who stages his own death to avoid facing the mess he is in. But then I came across Larry Flynt asking congress to bail out the porn industry. In internet terms I was ROTFL (rolling on the floor laughing). Today the news say that the banks want more money and who knows who else is going to ask for a bailout next? We must make an effort, like Larry to see the humor in the drama and believe it will all get better soon.

As a result I thought I'd come up with a few bailout ideas for Women Who Want It All. The below listed thoughts will bail you out from your own negative thinking. Your bailout comes from one person alone - YOU. Here are your thoughts for 2009:
  • Change begins with you alone. Do what you can today.
  • Focus on what you can check off your list today not everything you still haven't done.
  • Any progress regardless how small it may be - is still progress.
  • Celebrate your victories, irrespective of how big or small. Depending on your budget give yourself a free reward such as going for a long walk, cut out an hour early or stop for your favorite ice cream or if your budget permits, a new outfit.
  • Make a conscious attempt right now to think about what you are grateful for and say 'thank you' for what you have.
  • Remember to enjoy this moment which is what John Travolta says we must do as we never know - it could be the last one like this.
  • Believe that things will get better every day until you have what you want.
Enjoy your week, your families, yourself and your work. Life is good in essence.


Know that I appreciate you very much. I thank my friends from twitter, Facebook and this blog for your support.