Monday, July 7, 2008

The four steps explained:

Explain the steps:
Your first step is to be honest with yourself and take 100% responsibility for your life. Put 100% in what you do as that is everything you got. Don’t give 150% (as that is mathematically impossible and will wear you out) and nothing less is sufficient either. You are where you are today because of the decisions you made. Which were based on the circumstances of your life but nevertheless your decisions led to this point. It is neither good nor bad so take a good look at where you are. What would you say if you where your best friend and you would look at yourself from the outside? What would you see? Don’t judge, just look and see. This is the first step, to KNOW.

Your second step is to believe that what has happened up to here must mean something. All your little bits and pieces here and there, accomplishments, career elements, relationships and hits and misses amount to you. Don’t talk bad about it, don’t throw yourself or anyone else under the bus, just accept it for what it is. You would not be who you are, perfect you that is, if you did not have these experiences. This includes the fights with your Mom, your kid’s hating you, you failed first marriage, your debt on your credit card, your overbite and your love handles. It encompasses that you got fired from that job for being late one to many times, downsized, transferred and your urge to gossip too much. This is the second step, to ACCEPT.

Your third step is to take a very deep relaxing breath. It could be better but it could be a lot worse. If you have never been in a natural disaster or haven’t lost most or everything - consider yourself blessed. Remind yourself consciously that you have it pretty good. You got here in one piece. Bruised and battered but in one piece. That means something and it is good. You have stamina and are a lot stronger than you thought you could ever be. Be proud of that, think about what you have overcome and mastered entirely on your own. The chances that you will be facing another big storm or set out for a great smooth sailing experience are at about 100%. There is no reason to worry about that today or to freak out about what could be. Your life will continue to change. Today is an Ok day, maybe today is a great day. This is your third step, to RELAX.

Your fourth step is to remind yourself of where you are today. You have family and friends that deeply care about you. Even if you don’t like them right now or have been in an argument. Life is good in essence. Find the positive, half full side of everything you do. Remind yourself that you are not in the Olympics and you don’t need to get to your finish line in under 10 seconds. Your life is a journey with hills and valleys and stops. Trust that you will know when to hurry, when to slow down and when to rest. Worry about what happens when it does happen. Spending your nights tossing and turning about something that hasn’t occurred yet is a colossal waste of time and worst it might attract negative things. Worry about your bills only once every two weeks. When you need to figure out how to pay them. Don’t ruin your other 13 days. Be in the moment more and enjoy your journey. This is your fourth step, to LIVE.


Anonymous said...

You are such a goddess.

Aviatrix said...

These steps are so clear, and so sane. The accept step - so nicely put, but not as easy to do as it is to read for someone who likes to be in control!